Tuesday, Jul 13 2004, 05:51:15 AM
There is much to be said for being a true cosmopolitan. I count myself among this aristocracy of cultural chameleons that stubbornly retains a few eccentric quirks wherever they might be residing for the time being. But it is a way of life that is costly. The primary cost is pain.

First of all it gets harder to pull up your tent plugs and pack it all away to start fresh another place. It gets a bit harder every time. Comfort is a seductive thing, and familiarity is the luxury of complacency. Age makes it harder to put on your happy face when you go out to rebuild all the social networks you left behind, although skill and experience do count for something.

The hardest part though, is what it has always been, leaving people behind. I am getting ready to do it again, in only 19 work days I will leave a great workplace behind to start graduate school. There is nothing earth shattering about this shift this time. It was only three years ago that I left all my friends, my family and my networks behind to live in the United States of America. A weekly commute of three hours drive along I-70 is not a big thing.

But my two closest friends are leaving Kansas City as well and we will soon be scattered all over the US. So now my four closest friends will be in the UK, in Norway and somewhere in the US with destination still unknown. It is OK; it is time for the girls to get some distance between them. We all love road tripping so that would add texture to a friendship that had been restricted to a few Afternoon hours at coffee shops. Us girls would really like to spend days and nights talking together.

Besides, there are a few budding friendships left in Kansas City that I would like to explore further. The commute might ensure more dedicated time together, it would be fun. The curiosity of budding friendships is tantalizing. There is not enough time in the world to explore each others thoughts and ideas. It was so much easier in college when you really could stay up all night because youth gave you stamina to get through the next day.

I thought the Kansas City to Columbia commute would be beneficial to one of these new friendships. I was looking forward to a fall of weekend visits and maybe some forays into Canada. To me, the biggest draw of Canada is the Indian expatriate culture and finding traveling companions with the same marginal interest is unlikely at best. The Kansas City to Columbia commute all of a sudden turned into a much longer one, Kansas City to India to be more specific. There will probably not be anyone to explore Canada’s Indian expatriot community with. I also know what distance has done to some of my tried and tested friendships; I am not looking forward to see what it will do to this new one.

The one pain in my life that I can not shrug away is the pain of “loosing” people that I care about. There are only so many hours in the day and anything less than teleportation makes travel an ornery necessity. Ever since my weekly commutes between my parents; I have been a big supporter of teleportation technology. Travel is not a goal; it is a means to see people and places you care about. There is a lot of people and places I care about in India and it is even further away than Norway.

I have found that one of my new indulgences in weak moments is googling for old friends and lovers on the internet. Seriously, I am just checking to see where they are at in their lives, it costs me less time and effort than actually keeping in touch with them. I only need to know that they are doing fine. And it does not seem to be any more important for them to keep in touch with me.

On the plus side; this googling activity provides a good laugh in the right company when I deride myself for letting the dream lover with the entrepreneurial touch go. He might have hit it big since we split up, but deep down I know I will do better in time. That is why I can afford to poke fun at the situation.

Beautiful memories and melancholy are what remain of the best times of our lives. Is loosing touch with people you care about really the cost of experiencing the world in all its spendor? What are all these experiences worth if you have nobody to share them with? No, don’t worry, I will snap out of my self-pity in a little while. Just let me grieve for a little while now about all that I have left behind. It is not often I afford myself the luxury of sentimentality.